The Vatican Sexpands Its Long, Long List Of Sin!

Written by Pointer

Wednesday, 12 March 2008


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Dicendi De Sexualis Excitendibus is Pope Ratzinger's latest addition to the Catholic spank bank

A new Vatican document, rumored to be composed by online confessor, AskFrFred44giveness, has increased the already quite erect list of sin that Catholics need to become neu-erotic about.

Normally Catholic confessors like FrFred only wanted penitents to feed them the juicy little tidbits about marital infidelity, masturbation and the incidental implementation of the "French tickler". But this new, flesh-rending document breaks open the vaginal, virginal hymen of Catholic confessional material!

Now the 1% of Roman and even Roamin' Catholics who still go to the Sacrament of Reconciliation or Penance or Confession (depending on the decade you suffered through Catholic school) must detail a whole new array of sexual sins.

There is an entire chapter detailing the need to confess each and every use of a sex toy, be it male or female or both oriented. The author seems particular fascinated to trembling by the cock ring and the also available C-ring with clitoral stimulator. G-spot stimulation comes in for special exploration and a Grafenburg orgasm has been rubbed up to a mortal sin from its former status as a theological mystery.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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