St Helier, Jersey - (Reuterus): Police investigating the Haut de la Garenne child molester scandal say a trap door in the former children's home cellar leads straight to a Colditz-style Nazi era tunnel to the Vatican.
"We are fairly sure this was no escape tunnel, however," Jersey's top cop Inspector Bergerac said today.
"Rather we think this was the route that fed the children's institution with a constant supply of molestation fodder."
Forensic archaeologists have continued combing the area for more clues after countless satanic ritual items were found along with bits of Nazi uniforms, instruments of torture, ecclesiastical garments and pictures of Hitler's Pope Pius XII.
Royal Society grandee and eminent Oxbridge cold whore era hysterian Professor W.Hopping-Fibber has been recruited to oversee the cataloguing of artefacts dredged up from the site.
Meanwhile NATO military intelligence officials are rumored to be poised to swoop down on the Jersey house of horrors after a CIA/KGB double agent - once a personal assistant to George Bush Senior - was identified as a former warden at the children's home.
The person concerned was also a crucial kingpin in the Warren Commission's decision to blame Lee Harvey Oswald for the assassination of President John F Kennedy.
Gorgon Brown is spitting venom.
