Israeli Survives Andre Abuse

Funny story written by Djinni

Thursday, 22 April 2004

image for Israeli Survives Andre Abuse
Vanunu unharmed by Peter Andre

Proud Mordechai Vanunu walked free from an Israeli prison today at 9am GMT after spending 18 years in jail for revealing secrets that exposed Israel as one of the world's top nuclear powers.
In a defiant address outside prison, the nuclear whistleblower said his treatment inside, which included 12 years in solitary confinement, had been "cruel and barbaric" but insisted that the security services "did not break me" adding I would have been a gonner if they had kept playing "Mysterious Girl" but eventually even the sick and twisted get bored of diddy man Andre
Mordechai revealed he is also itching to find out all that has happened in the world since his unjust kidnapping torture and internment.
Global newspapers are clamouring for his view on the worlds most important current stories.
Is David "Goldenballs" Beckham a love cheat or was he really spoiling that PA when he offered her his Ferreo Roche?
Will Jordans over inflated ego be tamed by pint sized popster Peter Andre and will their children be short and thick just like their parents?
ITV's flagship news-leper Trevor McDonald will interview Vanunu to get his version of his 18 year imprisonment and psychological torture. Rumours abound that he will tell us whether he succumbed to one off the wrist during his 12 years solitary. Plus we will find out if it's really true that dropping the soap means you won't be able to sit down for a month.
Many of Vanunus' supporters were here today as he was released all echoing Vanunu's views Israel doesn't need nuclear arms. Open Dimona reactor for inspections and you will see it's not just full of Pink and green "Kiddie candy"
However A smaller counter-demonstration by Israelis shouted abuse as he made Victory-V signs with both hands. He is a traitor to his country and should be shot. We need nuclear weapons urgently how else can we continue playtime with the Palestinians eh? It will be so much more fun committing genocide at a (Vanessa) Feltz size scale. Hey why just settle for killing hundreds when we could kill millions in one go its just modernisation.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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