McDonalds offers job to German cannibal

Funny story written by Gareth Carpenter

Saturday, 31 January 2004

image for McDonalds offers job to German cannibal
Meiwes (right) agrees deal with a McDonalds rep

Global fast food giant McDonalds has thrown convicted cannibal Armin Meiwes a lifeline by promising him a job when he gets out of prison.

Meiwes was handed an eight year sentence for manslaughter after admitting killing and eating Bernd Juergen but insisting that his victim had willingly volunteered.

McDonalds said it had been impressed by the way Meiwes had skilfully butchered the corpse and stored cuts in his freezer.

"We're always looking for fresh ideas and Armin could come in very handy in the future, especially as he's now a household name," said Oliver Schultz, business development manager for McDonalds Germany. "He could be a free man in less than six years and there'll definitely be a job waiting for him in our meat processing unit when he comes out."

However German citizens said they were disgusted that Meiwes was likely to join McDonalds on his release.

"He's selling himself short, he could find a much better job than that," said one man interviewed outside the McDonalds Munich branch.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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