Killer of Former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto Captured

Funny story written by Jalapenoman

Thursday, 27 December 2007


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Bhutto was killed today, but her assassin is in custody

Former Pakistani Prime Minister and current opposition leader Benazir Bhutto was killed today by a suicide bomber at a rally in the city of Rawalpindi while attending a political rally. The unidentified man stepped from a crowd and opened fire on the woman, hitting her twice and injuring and killing several others in the area. He then blew himself up as a suicide bomber.

Local police have announced that they have captured him and taken him to the local jail, where he will remain awaiting trial.

As he was a suicide bomber, however, not much of him was captured. Local police spokesman Walabi Kinshi said in a press conference that "We have captured his right index finger, the one that witnesses saw shoot the former Prime Minister. That finger remains in tact. We also have his left foot and the upper part of the leg that were inside of a high top Reebox sneaker. We are sifting through other organs found at the scene to determine which are his and which may belong to others standing near him who were killed in the blast."

"All of the body parts and bloody clothing from the scene is being held under the tightest security possible. We know that local vigilantees are and party members all over the country are calling for his life and the ritual burning of his body, but we plan on seeing he stands a fair and impartial trial before killing him."

The Portugese police, experts in their own right, have volunteered their aid in tracking down the group that outfitted the suicide bomber.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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