Queen to Retire to Florida

Funny story written by mgoosen

Friday, 14 December 2007

image for Queen to Retire to Florida
Queen Elizabeth II preparing for her Florida retirement

(London, Nov 29) HRH Queen Elizabeth II has announced plans to retire from the British Monarchy and move to Florida. She and Prince Philip are looking at a nice two bedroom (in case the kids want to visit) condo in a "senior living community" near Fort Meyers.

"I've about had it with the cold winters, the high taxes, and ungrateful subjects who never call. It's time we start thinking about ourselves for once" she is reported to have said. She was also recently spotted at Balmoral estate driving a Buick LeSabre with a bumper sticker that says "I'm spending my children's inheritance".

The Queen says she plans to spend her days "sitting by the pool, playing canasta and bridge in the community center, and spending my evenings at Bingo Night and Classic Movies Night". She also said she looks forward to "participating in the many fun activities at the complex such as bus trips to the local outlet center and special events like the monthly "Crazy Hat Day", for which she is a strong favorite to be a frequent winner.

A spokesman for the royal family said "We all wish the Queen well in her retirement, and of course we plan to stop in for a visit on our next trip to Disneyworld - plus it will save us a night's lodging".

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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