London, ENGLAND - Heather Mills, who is being held in custody for the multiple slayings of Sir Paul McCartney, and Ringo Starr, has succeeded in doing something no one else has; she has reunited The Beatles, in death.
Mills, who is being held without bond at Scotland Yard's maximum security lockup, said that was her intention all along. Speaking through attorneys, Mills said she had always been the Beatles "number one fan" and whatever fate awaited her now was worth it to "get the boys back together."
Beatles fans the world over take little solace from Mill's claims, and condemn her as a heartless killer.
However, we here at the Spoof feel differently. An informal pole taken among our reporters, favors a heavenly Beatles reunion by a margin of 2 to 1.
Yoko Ono, who has stayed young by drinking the blood of her son Sean, has vowed to commit Hari Kari, so that she can keep an eye on John. However, she is not favored to enter Heaven, given her destructive behavior and harpy-like screeching, which God reportedly finds offensive.
So The Beatles should enjoy an eternity of peace, making music forever in the gilded halls of Heaven, for all those who dwell there to enjoy.
Which gives us all something to look forward to.
