Roomba Kill-Bots Kill 538 US Soldiers in Iraq

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Wednesday, 31 October 2007

image for Roomba Kill-Bots Kill 538 US Soldiers in Iraq
Roomba's Warrior Kill-Bot

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Roomba executives are devastated to reveal that a squad of their new Warrior killer robots accidentally massacred 538 American soldiers just after the robots were deployed in Iraq.

Roomba is the maker of the cute robotic vacuum cleaner available in the consumer market, and had previously announced the availability of their "iRobot Warrior X700" which was secretly developed under a Pentagon contract.

The Warrior weighs 250 pounds and can carry a 500-pound payload of machine guns, grenade and rocket launchers and ammo.

Greer Grinder, iRobot chairman and co-founder, explained that during a live fire demo of the robots for Pentagon officials in Iraq that "something went wrong."

The fast-moving Warriors can travel at 40 mph and were engineered with advanced software giving them the ability to kill autonomously.

But during the demo as US soldiers admired the new robots, they suddenly began firing and when all was over, 538 US soldiers lay dead. Another 1,564 were wounded.

"Maybe some sand got into the works," said Grinder. "We are looking into that."

-Copyright Felix Minderbinder Live Wire

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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