Heather Mills broke down and wept during a Women's Institute interview while being questioned about a press story that claimed she had spent several years dressed as a nun.
"I have never been a nun!" she screamed, and said she was not a member of the order of the 'Nuns of Absolutely No Mercy' of Soho.
She also denied trying to manipulate people by crawling across pavements in front of the paparazzi whilst wimpering, and skreiking via a megahorn, 'I am Diana!' outside Clarence House..
"I have never been a nun - it's a lie! But I have been a saint and I am the reincarnation of Diana!"
When her claim to be Diana was refuted, she stood up and started saying she could see the Virgin Mary and that God wanted her for an ark angel.
Three men dressed in white did, however, appear and promptly carted her off to the Barking Mad Funny Farm - a well-known refuge for celebs who go nuts..
Her spokesperson, Mrs Monika Hooker, said that her client was enjoying a luxury break at a top hotel and that Heather wanted the world to know that Paul McCartney was not a tranny - or a Nazi who tortured thousands.