Liverpool Cabbies Fight Council Over "Twenty's Plenty"

Funny story written by ranger121

Tuesday, 10 July 2007

image for Liverpool Cabbies Fight Council Over "Twenty's Plenty"

Local Government officials today clashed with taxi drivers over the imposition of a 20mph speed limit on an estate in Liverpool.

The Council wanted to impose the limit after local chavs had complained that cars were speeding through the area. A "Twenty's Plenty" spokeswoman said, "What we want is for people to slow down, especially taxi drivers. Someone is going to get killed one day, it's just not fair. Think of the children."

Chair of the Liverpool Taxi Driver's Association, Tosh Toshack, replied that the chavs wanted to slow cabs down so they could rob them more easily. "We've got wise to these tricks. They can get to us at 20mph, but not 30. It's a health and safety issue for us."

Tosh said that in the last three weeks alone, some 15 cabbies had been robbed, despite the deployment of large calibre weapons, and over 50 wheels had been stolen. "They can get our wheels off at 20mph. A cab can be stripped down to component parts in ten minutes if the driver can't get his foot down. The council just don't see what we're up against."

"Twenty's Plenty" said that dey 'adn't dun nuttin' and no-one was weerkin' de streets.

The Council said that safety cameras in the area had not been cost-effective and that a 20mph limit would save some 240,000 lives a year, and that if cabbies had a problem with speed limits they could raise the matter at the next full Council meeting. The application to speak should be in triplicate with a full deposition signed by a magistrate and posted at the Town Hall a full four weeks before the next meeting in three weeks time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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