Bill Gates is Skint!

Written by gopherash

Monday, 4 June 2007


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Where the fuck's all my money gone Tom Jones?

The financial markets of the world are bracing themselves for an economic nosedive into depression as Bill Gates revealed on Monday he actually has no money.

The billionaire co-founder of Microsoft, the worlds largest producer of mousemats easy on the wrist made the announcement aside his shack just outside of Memphis Tennessee.

He indicated to gathering press and onlookers that this was the best house he could buy with what he had left. The shack was formerly a chicken coop owned by rancher Jolly Jones.

When quizzed on how he had managed to spend an estimated 53 billion over the weekend Gates got out a pen and paper and began listing all his outgoings for the previous financial year.

Chicken dinners

It was revealed number one on the list was chicken dinners. Meals at the all you can eat buffet chicken ranch 2 streets away cost $4.50 a head. It is understood Gates paid for everyone in the world to have a chicken dinner, then realised how much it would actually cost. The chicken dinners were left piling up outside since they were made by chef Wally Groans last week.

Gates then added: "The rest of the money I spent on luxury wallpaper for my bathroom, sex hotlines, phoning the speaking clock and trying to get the last silver sticker for the 1999 panini premier league football sticker album, I only needed West Ham, I had everything, everything else, except that".

He also revealed his wife had left him two days prior to the announcement to shack up with Moon owner Dennis Hope, who has promised her the earth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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