A spike in seismic activity in Southern California yesterday morning has been determined to have actually been former United States President Ronald Wilson Reagan turning over in his grave.
The precise cause of the former president's posthumous repositioning is, of course, not known, since we cannot act the Gipper his reasons for moving. There seems to be a consensus, nonetheless, from both Republicans and Democrats.
Former presidential candidate and conservative activist and author Patrick J. Buchanan said the answer is obvious. "Bush is the worst president ever. I don't blame him for this action. Bush's policies are antithetical to the genuine conservatism of Ronald Reagan. Former President Jimmy Carter, who lost to Reagan in the 1980 presidential election agrees. "I've been telling everybody that Bush is the worst president we've ever had. I am glad to get some support from Mr. Reagan."