CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Jail - Since the death of Jerry Falwell, President George W. Bush has been looking for a new spiritual leader for America and the Corrupt Bastards Club. After sorting all his "facts," President George W. Bush wrote a pardon for Jim Bakker, sighting that he was a "good ol' boy", and that Jim Bakker stood for everything that the Corrupt Bastards Club stands for.
The pardon came after Jim Baker paid the $1,000,000 fee to join the Corrupt Bastards Club. Baker said, "It all came from the stupid little people anyway."
Upon hearing Baker's statement, President Bush embraced him and gave him a long, wet kiss on the mouth, then invited him to attend the Corrupt Bastards Club movie premier, in which the president heavily invested. President Bush said that he hopes to make a "killing" at the box office.
Tony Blair, upon hearing about the kiss, postponed the wedding for at least a week until he could talk with the president and sort out his feelings. Blair was said to have been in tears.
"Ol' Dubbya is my kinda' Christian," said Baker. "He even offered to broadcast my new show on State Television. I'm thinking of calling it 'God Loves a Cheerful Receiver.' My first guest will be BP's Ex-Chairman Lord Browne. He portrays the kind of receiving my ministry is all about!"