Anti-Iraq War movement in U.S. calls it quits

Funny story written by I. Spoof

Saturday, 26 May 2007

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It's Memorial Day in the U.S. Millions of Americans are celebrating by burning gasoline and barbecue lighter fluid. Tens of thousands of U.S. troops are occupying Iraq to secure its oil. Democrats in Congress have abjectly surrendered to Bush's desire for endless war.

The anti-war movement has decided to surrender, too. Kevin Radford, leader of the September Coalition, told TheSpoof reporter I. Spoof from poolside today: "We're tired of being accused of wanting to 'set a surrender date' by corporate lackeys like Mitch McConnell. None of us has to fight in Iraq. None of us live there, or have Iraqi friends or relatives. If the Bushies want to kill thousands more Americans and hundreds of thousands more Iraqis in order to secure Iraq's oil for their corporate friends, that's up to them. We're going to the beach."

News that the anti-war movement had been cancelled was greeted with jubilation in Iraq, Iran, Northern Lebanon, and Palestine. "This means more Crusaders on our land, " said Abu Jihad, spokesperson for al-Qaeda. "This means more attacks with American weapons against our women and children. More recruits for us. More jihad. We deeply thank the former anti-war movement for its decision today."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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