Bush Calls His Support for Wolfowitz the "Corruption Standard"

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

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The new standard

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Although support for World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz in Europe and in the US Congress no longer exists, George Bush continues to support his appointee.

"Sure Wolfy is corrupt, but it is time the world respects it," said Bush in a White House statement. "It is no reason for him to leave as President of the World Bank. He was corrupt when he started my illegal and immoral Iraq oil war based on lies as my deputy defense secretary. The Pentagon and all the officials in my Administration are corrupt too. This is the 'corruption standard' of my people, which means Paul should stay."

Yet now funding for the World Bank is impossible while Wolfowitz heads it since contributors are worried that the money will go to Wolfowitz's mistresses and cronies.

The World Bank is the world's largest and most corrupt poverty-creating institution. The board must soon decide whether to reprimand Wolfowitz or have him resign for demanding his mistress receive a pay raise and promotion. Yet US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson controls the powerful US vote on the World Bank's board.

Secretary Paulson has said that "President Wolfowitz is a dedicated Republican neoconservative Zionist sleazebag like all other Bush officials, including me, and he should hang on." Yet others do not agree.

"The way Wolfowitz can make the strongest contribution to the bank is by resigning," said Michael Mussman, a former chief economist at the IMF. "Sure all those Bush people are corrupt, but that just means they have all got to go. Bush and Cheney too cause they are the worst of the lot."

All non-US contributors to the World Bank including Germany, the Netherlands, France and the UK insist in a recent statement that "that corrupt con artist must leave, since the scandal has ended his ability to lead the bank. Everybody just laughs at the bank now cause of him. And we don't need another US POS as head of the World Bank either."

"We need a World Bank president with a good reputation and good integrity, not some scumbag," Finance Minister Bouter Booze of the Netherlands told reporters yesterday in Brussels. Germany in particular is pressing the World Bank's 24-member board to boot Wolfowitz out.

A World Bank panel investigated Wolfowitz's role in arranging for his main squeeze Shaha Riza to be transferred to the State Department and to receive a 36 percent pay raise to $180,000, with guarantees of future increases, while remaining on the bank payroll. They found him to be graft-ridden and corrupt. Wolfowitz also promoted his doll into another rich jobs, even at the Pentagon.

The corruption scandal comes as the World Bank starts its drive to raise some $30 billion from rich countries to provide grants and low-interest loans to the world's poorest nations in order to screw them further by ordering privatizations and other free market measures which benefit the rich. The drive takes place every three years.

Several other rich neoconservative sleazebags are candidates to head the bank when Wolfowitz resigns or is kicked out.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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