Old Media Vs New Media, punch-up behind bike sheds after school!

Funny story written by matthatt

Wednesday, 9 May 2007

image for Old Media Vs New Media, punch-up behind bike sheds after school!
Old Media, shaking its old fist at New Media

LAS VEGAS (Rooters) - Leading media executives took a combative tone against Internet companies on Tuesday, suggesting that Big Media increasingly considers new content distributors like Goggle Inc. to be more foe than friend.

Goggle turned round and said "you take that back, you big snot nosed poo face" Old Media answered with the old playground favourite "have you got any rudey nudey pictures of your mum? NO? Do you want some?"

New Media got really upset about this, went a bit red and then tried turn the gag back onto Old Media by saying that it had pictures of Old Medias dad doing things with uncle Terry.

New Media retorted, quick as a flash, saying that the only reason that New Media would have them is because it is a bit "MMMM Ducky" and did a limp wristed gesticulation in the direction of New Media, suggesting to all within earshot, that New Media might be somewhat less than macho.

All of a sudden New Media rushed at Old Media grabbing him around the waist and wrestling him to the floor. Old Media was taken a bit by surprise and tried to get a few ineffective girly slaps in, but to no avail.

New Media in the mean time had got all flushed and was breathing hard through his nose, which started to run a bit, whilst raining blows, fuelled with the pubescent rage that undulating hormones tend to produce.

All the other kids had gathered around and started chanting, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, like kids do.

Mr Jones, the PE teacher came round the corner just then. Everyone scarpered, leaving the two dirty faced schoolboys still ineffectually grappling with each other, completely oblivious to Mr Jones arrival, who walked up to them and pulled New Media off of Old Media by the earhole whilst bellowing "What is the meaning of this? Look at the two of you! Is the way you behave at home?"

As Mr Jones separated the two, New Media said "I dint do nuffink!" to which Old Media replied "Yes you did. You started putting my televisual based content on your websites without prior authorisation from me"

Mr Jones informed the pair of muddied urchins that he wasn't in the slightest bit interested and that they would have to explain themselves to the headmaster.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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