Baby Boxing Slags Unrepentant

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Saturday, 21 April 2007


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Joseph has now won 49 fights, 47 by KO

Four boxing promoters from Plymouth have been told to clean up their act or face having their licence revoked.

The four are all women, though you'd never know it to look at them, so repulsive are they.

Zara Care, 21, a blimp, mother Carole, 48, her pimp, Serenza (sic), 29, a chimp with a limp, and minger Danielle, 19, a gimp, together run Olver Promotions from the town where Sir Francis Drake set off to 'box Spanish ears' in 1588.

Drake, though, would surely have frowned on the four women, who were in trouble with the British Baby Boxing Board of Control for organising mixed-sex matches between children still in nappies.

The protagonists, the 3-year-old daughter and 2-year-old son of Zara Care (she obviously doesn't!), were videotaped as they fought over 12 rounds for the British Everso Lightweight title. The Olvers whooped with delight as the tiny twosome slugged it out in the living-room of the Olver's Council dump.

Neighbours called the Police, but before they arrived, another fight on the same card enthralled the crowd who bayed for blood.

Undefeated 11-month-old Joseph Louis, in the blue nappy, took on 9-month-old brute Henry 'Coochie' Cooper, who was stepping up a weght division, in the red nappy, in a real Clash of the Slight 'Uns.

The bout was stopped in the 3rd so that Henry could be given his bottle.

The whole of these two fights, and the highlights from many others, are available on DVD from Monday.

John Punchbag, of the BBBBC, said:

"These four women were real munters. The mother especially was a Raging Bull. She looked like she had been the distance with Mike Tyson."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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