Wolfowitz Asks "What Is Wrong With My Graft and Corruption At the World Bank?"

Funny story written by Felix Minderbinder

Friday, 27 April 2007

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Wolfy Makes Another Conquest

WASHINGTON (AP) - Defending himself against charges of personal graft and corruption as President of the Word Bank, Paul Wolfowitz asked his peers, "What Is wrong with my graft and corruption at the Bank?"

He went on to point out that graft and corruption are the hallmark of neoconservatives like himself everywhere and is endemic in the Bush Administration, the Pentagon and on Wall Street.

"In fact, graft and corruption are basic economic tools to enrich my neoconservative class and are expected of me," he told an investigation committee of the World Bank. "After all, we are Chosen People and I am expected to have a mistress who I also enrich by promoting her to high paying jobs like I have in the Pentagon, the State Department, and at the World Bank, for which she is not qualified."

Meanwhile, a group of World Bank employees who run the bank's campaign to fight corruption in poor nations urged "clear and decisive actions" in the probe of Wolfowitz's continuing promotion and pay raise for his main squeeze, Shaha Riza.

"We are deeply concerned by the impact of the current leadership crisis on the bank's credibility and authority," the employees said in a letter to the bank's board.

"Our own governance standards must be upheld and enforced impartially and without exception,'' the letter stated, "even when they touch the highest levels of this institution."

"Wolfy," as his mistress calls him, is the former US deputy defense secretary and he has made fighting graft and corruption outside of the World Bank a hallmark of his presidency, by suspending loans to countries such as India and Chad because the money might disappear into the pockets of politicians.

The bank's Governance and Anticorruption Strategy group said the "credibility of our front-line staff had been undermined by the controversy." They demanded that the World Bank board "resolve this crisis quickly in a way that demonstrates to all our stakeholders the bank's commitment to the highest standards of integrity, ie. kick the bastard out."

Yet Wolfowitz has ignored demands for his resignation.

In response to the latest calls for his dismissal, he stated, "Sure I'm a graft-ridden, poxed and corrupt neoconservative scumbag. But we are the sort of people who rule you and the world and who are causing the ills of the world like the illegal Iraqi oil war that I started, which also helps Israel to continue to steal Palestinian land and continue its ethnic cleansing, which is the source of all the problems in the Middle East. So get used to it, you idiots."

Yet support is waning for Wolfowitz in most countries of the world as the corruption scandal creates immense problems within the World Bank due to its loss of credibility.

Meanwhile, US President George W. Bush who appointed Wolfowitz has stood firmly by his side.

Bush praised the World Bank President recently by stating, "Thanks for being such a neoconservative and Zionist sleazebag, Paul. You make the other sleazebags in my Administration look real good. And I appreciate very much the fact that you helped start the Iraq oil war which we are losing and for which thousands of American soldiers are dying. Exxon Mobil and neoconservatives everywhere salute you."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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