Mobs gather to salute Sarkozy's triumph

Funny story written by James Wallin

Tuesday, 8 May 2007

image for Mobs gather to salute Sarkozy's triumph
Happy revellers on their way to a house party celebrating Sarkozy's triumph

Thousands of cheering citizens took to the streets on Sunday night to hail the electoral victory of Nicolas Sarkozy. Many of them carried sticks and burned effigies of their hero while shouting "We're all going to hell" and "Bring back Chirac".

The rightwing former interior minister, who is a strong supporter of washing the poor away with hoses, was particularly feted in the Bastille area of central Paris. Many supporters wept with joy and vowed to leave the country immediately, presumably so they would always be able to remember it in this perfect moment. The buoyant mood of celebration was shared by the heavily armoured riot police who joined the revellers in a spirited exchange of fire-bombing and baton clashing.

The French public has responded warmly to Sarkozy's electoral promises to extend the working week beyond it's present "ludicrous" seven days, and break down the barriers of political correctness which "bar people from calling a spade a spade, just in case he finds it offensive".

The new president has found particularly fame amongst immigrants, or "the foreign scum" as the Hungarian born rightwinger prefers to call them. "No matter what people's background" promised Mr Sarkozy "they will have a future. All though depending on your background it could be a short and nasty one, or a long, happy, Sarkozy-supporting one".

Officials were suggesting yesterday that May 6th will now be known as Sarko-day and will be celebrated every year by countrywide riots and specially organised punch-ups in schools.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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