Police arrest 30 in animal rights raids, Knut questioned

Funny story written by matthatt

Tuesday, 1 May 2007

image for Police arrest 30 in animal rights raids, Knut questioned
Crazy like a teenage polar bear!

LONDON (Roosters) - Police arrested 30 animals in a series of coordinated raids across Britain, Belgium and the Netherlands on Tuesday as part of investigations into animal rights extremism.

Police in Hampshire said in a statement around 300 officers and support staff from British, Dutch and Belgian forces were involved in the raids.

"The animals arrested are all suspected of being involved in criminal activity associated with animal rights extremism," the statement said.

"All have been taken to undisclosed police stations and kennels across the country and will be interviewed with the help of an animal psychologist throughout the day."

Police declined to give any more details of the animals arrested but said searches of various dog baskets, out houses, hen houses, hutches and barns are continuing and that officers were "working with the local communities to minimise any disruption".

Knut, the pubescent bear at Berlin zoo was also questioned regarding some depressive poetry he had penned and submitted to a website eulogising Robert Smith of 80s Goth band The Cure and deriding the use of his "animal brethren" in food, clothing and entertainment.

It was reported that the teenage Knut has taken to wearing black all the time and staying in his room.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more