Written by Pointer

Wednesday, 18 April 2007

image for "Ice" Will Put You on Your Ass!
Ice makes you fall on your ass!

Crystal Meth or ice is creating havoc across the USA in ways that are reminiscent of the great Crack Epidemic of the 80's. Reagan has been proven to have driven millions to become crack addicts and now a double dose of Bush has pushed Americans into the bizarro world of the "tweakers"

Drug experts at the CDC have found compelling evidence that whenever the nation has a totally inept president the nation as a whole falls off the wagon and seeks solace in the escape provided by really powerful drugs.

These drugs then cause a crime epidemic and prison populations soar! In this latest outbreak, methmouth is running rampant and dentists are making a mint both in and out of the prisons. Prison dentists have six month waiting lists and the penal system is releasing onto the banks of the US society toothless and HepC infected throngs.

Instead of fighting symptoms, rootcaws. com is advocating for an ept president. ET McCrone, candidate for PrezMinister and potential consort for Prince Billy and therefore the future Queen advocates for eptness as the principle characteristic of the next world leaders."This!", McCrone announces, " is the real way to fight the real war on real drugs!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Topics: Drugs

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
140 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more