Garry Kasparov Arrested In Russian Chess Street Battle Revolution Thingy

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Monday, 16 April 2007

image for Garry Kasparov Arrested In Russian Chess Street Battle Revolution Thingy
Ever so popular in Russia

Russian opposition leader Garry Kasparov was one of 170 people arrested in an anti-Kremlin rally in Moscow at the weekend.

The former World Chess Champion was taken to a police station and charged with "making an illegal move whilst in check", after Russian President Vladimir Putin accused him of trying to destabilise the country.

Assembled in central Moscow, Mr Kasparov (White) and his followers effected a clever aggressive opening, moving swiftly through the streets towards Pushkin Square.

Mr Putin (Black) adopted an extremely defensive stance, using his pawns as shields, in a 'spoiling' tactic.

White attacked Black's knight at b6 with his bishop at e3 but, in so doing, made a catastrophic error. When Black ignored White's threat and allowed his knight to be captured, the way was open for a swift counterattack by Black's Queen (e7>e2) protected by his own bishop at a6.

Before anyone could say "Solzhenitsyn", White was in custody in Red Square Police Station and thumbscrews were applied.

There was an inevitable stalemate, and after a good while, all ended amicably when Black released 6 of his 170 captives. The others were executed and handed out to the poor for use as winter fuel.

Chess is the second most popular pastime in Russia, after 'Eating Cabbage Soup'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more