Written by Quorum of One

Sunday, 15 April 2007

image for Congress adopts legislation on talent-to-looks ratio in recording industry

The United States Congress has followed the lead of the Executive Council of the European Union in passing strongly-worded legislation that makes it a crime for record producers to sign contracts with singers based on decisions in which physical appearance counts for more than 20%.

The so-called "Milli's Law" mandates prison terms of up to 10 years and fines of $50,000 to $1,000,000 for "anyone who willfully places a drool-inspiring, scantily-clad slab of pulchritude, male or female, in front of an open microphone without first ascertaining that he or she knows middle C from an elk fart."

Share prices in Sony, Warner, Virgin, MCI and Island Records all plummeted upon announcement of the new law, which goes into effect on June 1st.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Music

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