WASHINGTON, D.C. - (Satire News) - The Kremlin Voice has stated that the scuttlebutt on the streets of Moscow is that a European country has just about finalized plans to invade Putin's faltering, wimpish country.
The KV reports that as of now, the only other world leader who knows about the pending invasion is President Biden.
When POTUS was asked by a reporter which country is going to invade Russia, the president replied, that when he was a little boy his daddy said, "Joey, a man's word is stronger than a ton of steel, it is more powerful than a freight train, and it is even prettier and sexier than the most expensive whore on New York's 5th Avenue, so even the fattest, fat bitch sitting on my head and bouncing up and down repeatedly will not be able to get me to reveal my secret."
The reporter shook his head and asked his question again. Biden got a bit perturbed and told the pesky busybody that even his wife, the stunningly gorgeous first lady Dr. Jill Biden doesn't know.
"Is it Great Britain? The UK reporter shouted out.
"Is it China?" Yelled out the Chinese reporter.
"Look, look fellas, fellas, and fellettes, my lips are sealed, but I will give you a hint - the country's name begins with the letter "I."
"Italy" Shouted the Italian reporter.
The president shook his head, took a sip of his Coke Zero and replied, "DAMMIT!"