German Man downs a Bottle of Slivovitz and Falls Over a Flower Pot

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Sunday, 24 October 2021

image for German Man downs a Bottle of Slivovitz and Falls Over a Flower Pot
Can be deadly, dastardly, and devastating, Yugoslavian Schnaps called Slivovitz, it requires a Bio-hazard warning!

Straelen, Germany: After a quite hefty birthday party, and boozing session, which took guests to a new limit of alcohol consumption, one of the guests, Herr Samuel Johansson, originally of Viking heritage, but now blessed with Germanic genes, nearly 'kicked the bucket!'

Luckily, after singing through the midnight hour in quite a boisterous manner, and offering other guests to join in renditions of Stevie Wonder's hit, Happy Birthday, plus other jovial birthday hits, which thundered through the house sung with heavy German accents, Samuel managed to arise from his chair, missed 'kicking the bucket', narrowly, and managed to boot over a flowerpot after slaloming his way to the bog!

Fortunately, nothing else stood in his way, apart from the bog door, which he managed to navigate. Relief came in the form of swaying sideways onto the bog seat in a drunken attempt to rid his sodden body of a half a bottle of Slivovitz, plus a bottle of red wine.

The next morning, not remembering a thing, apart from the after-effects of swigging down this Yugoslavian schnaps, a 'spiritual specialty', brewed in Balkan nations normally used for exorcising demons, and burning holes in stomachs, after consuming overdoses of greasy-fatty-lamb chops, also a specialty in Balkan nations.

Two days later, Herr Johansson, managed to recover from the celebrations after experiencing excruciating headaches, and a plethora of combustible visits to the bog. The flowerpot, which caused most damage, has now been replaced with a pot of lilies by Samuel's missus to remind him that if he continues to devour Slivovitz in this manner, next time he might be 'Kicking the Bucket' instead of 'Kicking her Beloved flowerpot!'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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