Woman Looked As If She'd Got Dressed In The Dark

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 28 October 2020

image for Woman Looked As If She'd Got Dressed In The Dark
The woman floundering around for something to wear

Fashions are different the world over, and it's a widely-used saying that "it wouldn't do for us all to look the same", but there are limits, and the way one woman was attired at the weekend left a man who saw her thinking that she might have got dressed in the dark.

Moys Kenwood, 57, was sitting in his wife's shop, minding his own business and reading a book, when in walked a woman from down the street, whose clothing screamed at him.

It brought to mind an explosion at a paint factory.

Customers shaded their eyes from the glare.

The woman, a girl of about 20, was clad in a faded, brown baggy sweater, under which a red polo neck jumper could be seen. She had bright yellow hugely-flared trousers, dark blue socks, and light blue flip-flops. To finish off this garish montage she was sporting a huge floppy-brimmed cream-coloured hat with a pink ribbon, that looked like it might have been rejected at Ascot, and worn ever since.

Nothing she wore complemented anything else she had on.

Said Kenwood:

"It was as if she had opened her wardrobe door with her eyes still closed, thrown her arms inside in a haphazard fashion, grasped whatever her fingers touched, and chucked it on, dispensing with color-coordination."

He went on to say that the woman:

"Looked like a fucking trampish ragbag kitted-out at a dodgy jumble sale."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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