Excitement across Middle East as President Trump’s Peace Plan promises all Palestinians in the Occupied Territories one free Domino’s Pizza with every pizza purchased for equal or greater value (subject to availability)

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Tuesday, 28 January 2020

image for Excitement across Middle East as President Trump’s Peace Plan promises all Palestinians in the Occupied Territories one free Domino’s Pizza with every pizza purchased for equal or greater value (subject to availability)
Biggest deal ever

The General Assembly of the United Nations erupted into spontaneous applause following news that the unrest in the Middle East could soon end, after President Donald Trump revealed an exciting new deal for Israelis and Palestinians.

Standing next to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, who had been granted bail by the Jerusalem court hearing his corruption trial in order to attend the event, Trump announced the biggest deal ever, which would bring peace to the region.

Under the deal, Israel will be allowed to keep its illegal settlements and the whole of Jerusalem, while Palestinians will be given free coupons to allow them a free pizza at participating branches of Domino’s Pizza Parlour, plus an extra portion of fries at all McDonalds outlets in the state of Georgia.

Secretary General of the UN, António Guterres, applauded the bold initiative and thanked President Trump for finding a way forward. He said “The entire world owes President Trump an enormous debt of gratitude for his tireless efforts in brokering a peace deal between nations of peoples who have been fighting for decades”.

In the Gaza Strip, children as young as 8 ceased throwing stones at Israeli Defence Force tanks. One girl, 12-year-old Hannah, who has lost both parents and her family home, said “I can’t wait to try the Domino’s Garden Feast pizza with extra mushrooms.” Meanwhile, 85-year-old Muhammid Irfan, who is blind and unable to walk, wept with joy and could only whisper “Hurray”.

However, the spoilsport President of the Palestinian National Authority, Mahmoud Abbas, refused to attend the meeting with Trump and Netanyahu, claiming that the benefits offered to the Palestinian people under the deal weren’t good enough.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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