Aussie PM Snott Orifice outraged!

Written by Red.S.Crotum

Monday, 22 April 2019

image for Aussie PM Snott Orifice outraged!
I'm a nice guy, honest

Hot off the press! Aussie PM Snott Orifice is officially outraged by suggestions his Hitler-like salute on Easter Sunday at his Paedocostal Church in western Sydney is a Hitler-like salute.

"It's just not cricket" said the outraged PM. "I let you into my life, my church, my family and my faith. I've never done that before. I'm doing it now because I'm desperate not to lose the election and my job. So I want you to think I'm a nice guy, a man of the people. Not the guy who voted against same-sex marriage, and against a royal commission into my dodgy mates in the financial services industry. And I'm the guy who reduced the wages of low-end workers by removing penalty rates while trying to offer tax cuts to my big business mates. I need you all to look past that and to see me as a man who talks in tongues and heals the disabled (whose royal commision into institutional cruelty to disabled people I also voted against, but don't worry about that), oh and I kinda dig global warming too. So I don't expect you to take the piss out of my faith. I expect you to think only what I want you to think about me and any mirth at my expense is just not allowed, it's not Australian."

Most commentators now accept that Orifice wasn't saluting Hitler but was simply carried away in the moment while shouting out "Fuck Bill Shorten" (opposition leader) in a mix of Welsh and Swahili.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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