Beautiful: Granddaughter Happy to Let Go of Racist WWII Veteran Grandfather 'Due to His Terrible Illness'

Funny story written by Jesus H. Christ

Tuesday, 26 March 2019

image for Beautiful: Granddaughter Happy to Let Go of Racist WWII Veteran Grandfather 'Due to His Terrible Illness'
An image of Thomas FitzPatrick explaining why "those filthy negroes should have been the ones the Nazis were killing&quo

Stating that she knew what needed to happen, poverty-ridden middle-aged woman Amanda FitzPatrick reported being amenable to the choice of euthanization for her 99-year-old WWII-veteran grandfather.

“I just knew what I needed to do...” stated Mrs. FitzPatrick in an exclusive interview, “... it was for the best, right? Been long enough. I mean, the guy’s lived for, like, a century. He was gonna die pretty soon anyway, so might as well just throw him out of this thing now.”

"He was a great guy, though. He taught me a lot about race, war and the race war. I really appreciate it. I also really appreciate how he ruined my childhood by explaining all of these amazing achievements at the same age that I built my first 100-piece Lego boat. It really made me feel good about myself and ensured that this confidence lasted during my fragile teenage years."

"Perhaps the greatest thing that he did was become paralyzed from the waist down at the age of 92 after a fall when trying to cook some eggs that he could have easily asked me to cook him. He was yelling and crawling, and nobody was there for him but me, so I really appreciated having to stay home from work and giving up my dreams to take care of him while he ranted about those 'black bastards'."

At press time, Amanda was reportedly crying what she considered "tears of joy" while simultaneously mourning the loss of her century old grandfather. He was a good man.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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