Top war bods, scientists and nuclear boffins have once more nudged the hands of the Doomsday Clock nearer to midnight, as they feel that we are soon all to perish in a modern-day Armageddon.
Professor A. Wright-Pillock told The Spoof:
"We're all going to die in a horrible modern-day Armageddon. But when I say all, I actually mean nearly all, because I for one intend to follow the advice of the public information films of the fifties and look the other way when any bombs go off. That's very effective protection against radiation you know?
And another good thing to do is build a sort of shelter thingy using newspapers and your kitchen table. Then you hide under it until the radiation dies down a bit. That normally takes about twenty minutes or so though it might be quicker if the wind's blowing strongly"
Top nuclear physicist Darren Oppenheimer comments:
"That bloody clock's been stuck for ages and they should either get new batteries fitted or scrap the bloody thing. It's no good relying on it if you have a train to catch or something like that. You'd probably end up missing it wouldn't you?"
You can help too readers. If you're out and about and see what you reckon could be the start of a modern-day Armageddon and the end of world as we know it, just give us a call and we'll do the rest.