London - (ReUterus): The legalisation of prostitution debate took another twist today as it emerged Prime Mobster Tony Blair wants to quash any introduction of official red light zones and replace the idea with a fleet of mobile brothels carrying official sponsorship and promoted in the same way as his City Academies flagship scheme.
A government White Paper under consideredation by Parliament proposes a variety of safe sex marketing schemes run by interest groups such as the NHS, the Church of England and the alcohol industry. These would sponsor officially registered businesses according to Public Private Parts Finance Initiative (PPPFI) rules, thereby keeping out gypsies, ramblers, itinerant goths and other nomadic miscreants from taking advantage of the relaxation of UK vice laws.
The mobile brothels would operate within designated cultural zones on a strictly rotational first cum first served basis, thus avoiding many people's fears of waking up one morning and realising that their beloved Acacia Avenue neighborhood was now officially over-run with hookers.
The idea was first mooted by the Labour Party's top financial donor Lord Sainsbury who introducted the concept at a time when his eponymous supermarket business was looking at novel expansion schemes and floated the idea before his board of directors: a Sainsbury's-sponsored mobile brothel was thought to hold many attractions in a growing market where customers sometimes did not know where to spend their Nectar Reward Points, for instance.
A Parliamentary Study Grope is now looking at the PPPFI proposals and is waiting for Treasury projections on the potential £50 billion per annum revenue that the scheme is estimated capable of generating by the time that London hosts the 2012 Olympic Games.
Their report is due to be debated early next month.
