Written by Monkey Woods

Wednesday, 2 January 2019

image for Man Suffers Narcolepsy Every Time He Thinks Of Work
Work: what a bore!

A man has reacted angrily to being labelled 'workshy' by colleagues, after he telephoned his employer to tell them that he would not be able to attend work on Monday, because he was suffering from Narcolepsy.

Moys Kenwood, 55, has, for a long time, suspected the condition to be responsible for his almost-automatic switching-off as soon as labor is mentioned, and had this confirmed at the weekend when he Googled it.

He said:

"I'm not workshy. Indeed, I actually like work. Well, the kind of work I like, anyway. Of course, there are many kinds of work I don't like as well, and I suppose it's those kinds of work that are affecting me in a narcolepsical way."

But Kenwood's friends say he is lying, and that he doesn't like any kind of work.

One told me:

"He's lying; he doesn't like any kind of work. He's a lazy twat."

Another said:

"He told me he can fall asleep standing up when he thinks about work. He even told me he was taking a pee, and he suddenly thought about work, and fell asleep, but still maintained a true aim."

An expert on sleep disorders said:

"We're not sure quite how this happens yet. He seems to have unwittingly hypnotized himself to fall asleep at the mere mention of work."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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