Written by Red.S.Crotum

Friday, 14 September 2018

At the International Conference of Politically Correct Sociologists and Psychologists, in Manhattan (temporarily renamed Genderneutralhattan for the duration of the conference), evidence has been presented of inequality amongst a range of minority groups.

Daphne Brarless, a pioneer of lobby group Women With Dicks, presented some interesting statistics. "The evidence suggests that while women are better represented in the workforce in senior roles today than 50 years ago, one-armed women over the age of 49.73 with Latina, Asian, Afro-American and Icelandic heritages don't compete well for jobs as truck drivers."

International delegates included Brucette Rogers from Sydney, Australia (not renamed), an advisor to the Minister for Equality, Ms Lickma Poosy. "Yeah mate", Rogers said, "We have a real problem with the way lesbian dwarfs are kept out of ministerial roles. We've tried everything, mate, but not one cabinet position in our government is held by a shortarse lesbian. We don't accept that all politicians have to be looked up to. Some can be looked down on, and we're continuing the fight until at least 50% of ministers are 'Little Lesos'."

Nearer to home, Jane Highmaint from Alabama pointed to clear gender bias in the Ku Klux Klan. Highmaint summarised the evidence. "If you go back over one hundred years, ninety eight percent of the niggers we lynched were men. Only two percent was Jungle Bunnies and we think that was a mistake 'coz we couldn't see them in the dark. It's a tragedy and steps must be taken to ensure more women get lynched, after all this is the twenty first century, y'all."

Perhaps the most poignant moment was the impassioned plea by Fatima O'Connor from Boston Mass. for moreĀ  Muslims to be allowed to enter the Catholic Priesthood. O'Connor had every one of the fifteen hundred delegates on their feet cheering her rousing words. "In one thousand years there hasn't been a single Muslim ordained. Just imagine how much less kiddie-fiddling would have happened if we'd have had more Father Mustafa's allowed in the Ministry."

The Conference ended on a high note when Melanoma Trump gave the closing address. Trump said " Ya, I am a living example of minority equality, and hope for the future. I am a woman. I come from a Dirty Commie Background. I have a funny accent and false breasts. I am married to a mysoginist, fascist, narcissistic, womanising asshole. But I am a survivor and proud to stand here today as First Lady and say 'I really don't care', and neither should you. If I can marry Donald Trump, so can you, and chances are one of you is gonna marry him once he leaves the White House. Thank You."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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