Written by Jas Guipe

Sunday, 2 September 2018

Chairman of the House Intelligence Committee, Devin Nunes, traveled across the pond recently to speak with top officials of Britain’s intelligence services. Perhaps Nunes should have called ahead because upon arrival he discovered no one willing to meet with him.

Reporters describe a dejected Nunes standing outside the headquarters of MI6, ringing the bell and receiving no response. “Come on, guys, US government business, open up,” Nunes whined. “Look, I know you’re in there. I can see you through the blinds.”

Embarrassed and irritated at the rebuff, Nunes flipped off the surveillance camera and stomped away, panties clearly in a bunch.

According to sources, Nunes had a little better luck at MI5 as he was able to access the lobby only to be told by reception that there was no one available to meet with him.

“I don’t think you understand. I’m investigating a far reaching deep state conspiracy to take down the President of the United States and I demand to see Christopher Steele,” Nunes cried, beginning to grow hysterical.

“Mr. Steele doesn’t work here and I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” the receptionist replied.

“I can see them all back there,” said Nunes pointing to a glass conference room. “The whole deep state cabal plotting and scheming to take down my President. Hey, stop that! I command you in the name of his majesty President Donald Trump, Earl of Orange, Duke of Mar a Lago.”

Representative Nunes then delivered a statement outside MI5 headquarters. “Clearly Mr. Steele and his group of cohorts have been back channeling us, penetrating us from behind, and trying to perform some kind of work around. Well, I won’t be pushed away. These English gentleman can’t just wave their tea bags in my face, offer me a crumpet, and send me on my merry way.”

According to press reports, that’s pretty much what they did.

Later Nunes was hosted at the home of Roman Abramovich, the Russian oligarch and owner of Chelsea FC. He and aides later attended a Chelsea match, but Nunes complained bitterly the entire time that he thought he was going to a football game.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
52 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more