Roman Abramovich shells out $125m for American Pharoah

Funny story written by queen mudder

Sunday, 7 June 2015

image for Roman Abramovich shells out $125m for American Pharoah
Smerican Oharaoh's sperm niw worth around one million bucks an ounce

New York - Russian oligarch Roman Abramovich has bid $125m for the Triple Crown's latest awesome champ, the biggest price ever paid for a thoroughbred racehorse.

This morning his distinctive armored Lincoln Continental was seen arriving at trainer Bob Baffert's yard with what stablehands described as a 'trunkfulls of dollars' by way of a sweetener to secure ownership of the handsome bay colt.

The three year-old classics winner swept the board at Elmont Park last night to became the only 12th ever horse to snatch US racing's ultimate gong.

Analysts immediately rated the champion's potential stud fees as anything from $150,000 to $250,000 per mate.

In equine spermatological terms this equates to over one million bucks per fliud ounce.

However, a shooting blanks' sale contract waiver could be a deal breaker, something the Russian mobster is keen to stress.

Commenting on the proposed transaction the horse's owner, Egyptian-born entrepreneur Ahmed Zayat said, "One hundred and twenty five million bucks for my little baby is money extremely well spent."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot