Sold Out Gig

Written by Backandtotheleft

Monday, 25 June 2018

Religious fans all over the world will be disappointed to hear that tickets for the Popes visit to Knock Shrine in Country Mayo have sold out! The Pope, who is on a greatest hits tour, will play the Shrine for two dates from the 25th of August this year.

The Pope is, of course, the figurehead of a international ring of paedophiles, or, as they are known in the charts: The Catholic Church.

People will be flocking to the event from all over the world, with many leaving their children in the care of trusted public figures, such as the local priest.

Mary Anne Mary from the Parish of Devout Faith and Beatings said: "I can’t wait to catch a glimpse of the Pope! It makes a change to be able to actually see a representation of our faith rather than just having to imagine a magic wizard in the sky controlling our lives."

Fans will be hoping that his holiness, whose last album “The Money, The Bitches and The Holy Spirit” topped the charts in 43 different countries, brings all his trademark style and swagger to the concert. Hopefully sitting on his golden throne while delivering the classic “All Men Are Equal In His Eyes” and twirling his Papal staff while singing “No Man Bows To A Bitch” will be highlights of the event.

The gig will be streamed live on the “dark web” a place where a number of his “hardcore” fans spend most of their time.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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