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NHS Crisis as Pollen Levels Hit Record High

Funny story: NHS Crisis as Pollen Levels Hit Record High

The Met Office has confirmed that pollen levels are currently the highest since records began. Recommending a state of emergency, they revealed that in some low lying areas people are struggling to get outdoors through a viscous fog of pollen and...

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Boy Picks His Nose And Eats Result

Funny story: Boy Picks His Nose And Eats Result

A teacher at a school in Battambang recoiled in horror this afternoon, when a boy in his classroom picked a huge bogey from his nose, and ate it! There's really not much more to it than that, but, if you force me to expand on it, I will. The bo...

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Woman's Nosebleed Wouldn't Stop

Funny story: Woman's Nosebleed Wouldn't Stop

Have you ever had a nosebleed that, no matter what arresting action you took, the darned thing just would not seem to stop bleeding? Well, that was exactly the situation being faced by one Los Angeles woman called Janet Farmer this week after she...

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Unknown nose-picker picked for Eurovision

A virtually unknown man from the North was unveiled last night as Britain's Eurovision contestant. "His musical talent is not necessarily of the highest standard," said a BBC TV spokesman, "but he is likely to win viewers over by his unique style...

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Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

Funny story: Why Obsessive Nose Rubbing May Lead To A Less Than Satisfactory Social Life

According to a survey conducted at a college in Cupertino, CA, obsessive nose rubbing may actually be bad for your social life. While there are no definite root causes for such an odd habit, college students like Matthew E. explain that "It's hila...

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Nasal Warfare. Not to be Sneezed At.

Funny story: Nasal Warfare. Not to be Sneezed At.

Magazine "Hollywood Insiders" says the NOSE will be the media focus of body attention in the next decade. This is to prepare everybody for the planned lethal virus that will be spread by the sneeze. Nose awareness will ensure the disaster will not be too unexpected. 'Depopulation' so-called (or mass-extermination for the non-poetic among you) is the call. The ground has already been laid by...

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Boogers: they're finger-lickin' good!

"Booger" (also "boogie") is the polite name for snot, a free, delicious, nutritious emergency ration produced, without fanfare, by the nasal mucosa in such abundance that individuals swallow approximately 3.48 gallons per day without realizing it. Boogers are made up of mucin, water, cells, and inorganic salts. Depending upon the size of the serving, a single helping may contain from 10 to 40 c...

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Humans are evolving bigger noses

Funny story: Humans are evolving bigger noses

A study of skulls across the past twenty-thousand years since modern humans emerged from Africa has revealed that human nosed and ears are getting bigger. "For most of human history," said Cambridge University evolutionary biologist, Eva Luton, "n...

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Mike Tindall's future mother-in-law must 'butt out' Zara Phillips says. It's only a nose.

Funny story: Mike Tindall's future mother-in-law must 'butt out' Zara Phillips says. It's only a nose.

Zara Phillips has asked her mother, Princess Anne to stop talking about Mike's nose. Apparently Zara likes it just the way it is. It has been hinted by some Royals that Mike should have his nose 'corrected' surgically, before the upcoming nuptua...

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Barry Manilow's Nose Creates Gridlock Havoc In New York

Funny story: Barry Manilow's Nose Creates Gridlock Havoc In New York

Musician Barry Manilow, famous for such hits as 'Copacabana' and other stuff, was being held responsible for causing huge tailbacks in downtown Brooklyn yesterday. The star, who was appearing in Las Vegas at the time, was being honoured by his hom...

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Heidi Montag's Nose Falls Into Bowl of Cornflakes!

Funny story: Heidi Montag's Nose Falls Into Bowl of Cornflakes!

LA, CA-- Heidi Montag, "reality" TV star and plastic surgery addict got quite a shock at breakfast this morning when her nose fell off in her bowl of Cornflakes! The horrified starlet, who was by now wide awake, dug her nose out of her breakfast,...

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Gun Activist Shoots Off Nose

Funny story: Gun Activist Shoots Off Nose

WASHINGTON, D.C.--A gun rights activist who thinks anyone who favors gun control of any type is a "socialist elitist who hates America" accidentally shot off his nose yesterday while at a rally here celebrating the second part of the Second Amendment...

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Lin Ping (Linping?) The Thai Panda Picks Nose And Eats It

Funny story: Lin Ping (Linping?) The Thai Panda Picks Nose And Eats It

Lin Ping, the baby panda cub born and housed in Chiang Mai Zoo, Thailand in May 2009, has stunned audiences here with her most daring escapade yet - she picked her nose, and ate it! Ping, 1, performed the cavalier act whilst being filmed for her o...

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Picking your nose

Among the most prolific nose pickers are Prince of Wales who is frequently found digging for gold when watching "EastEnders" Adrienne Chiles whilst at a traffic lights. Nigeria Lawson and Sofia Dhal as they prepare there fairy cakes. Neil Armstrong had a session before taking a giant step for Man. This is why the myth about not landing on the moon, he was observed by all at NASSA. Al...

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Mother's Nose Best

Funny story: Mother's Nose Best

My mother has come in first place in the annual 'Nose Awards' ceremony that took place in glitzy Swindon. Accepting her trophy on the 1st of January, she said that it was the proudest day of her life - so far this year. She faced stiff competit...

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Pick your nose and your brain will fall out - old wives tale turns out to be true

Funny story: Pick your nose and your brain will fall out - old wives tale turns out to be true

A four year old boy is in intensive care today after a five hour operation to restore his brain back into his head. The boy's mother told us, "I kept telling him not to pick his nose because his brain will fall out, but he wouldn't listen!" Dr...

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Sudden Acute Embarrassment: Cause of trip to A&E

Funny story: Sudden Acute Embarrassment: Cause of trip to A&E

A Surrey man was taken to hospital today with a fractured skull brought on by Sudden Acute Embarrassment, or SAE. He had used a napkin to blown his nose earlier in the day where the nasal discharge was deflected onto his clothes. "It's really...

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Man With World's Longest 'Pinkie' Nail Puts it to Good Use

Funny story: Man With World's Longest 'Pinkie' Nail Puts it to Good Use

Carson City, NV: It's been said that you can pick your friends and that you can pick your nose-- but that you can't pick your friend's nose. Charlie Shitter, Man with the World's Longest Pinkie Fingernail, begs to differ. Shitter, whose fingern...

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Breaking news…

Trump Jr. Says That He Always Wanted to Be Separated From His Parents

That's why he can't understand the consternation at the border with kids being taken from parents.
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