BMW announced today that its recall of over 300,000 cars in the UK has been cancelled as being totally unnecessary and unfounded.
Originally, there was a concern that cars were prone to suddenly stopping without notice, with the electrics and lights failing. However, after exhaustive research into the problem during the previous three hours, it was found to be driver error that was causing indicators in particular not being used rather than failing.
Having cancelled the vehicle recall, BMW, in conjunction with the DVLA (UK Driver Agency that makes huge profits by selling unnecessarily expensive and meaningless number plates to drivers with overtly small private parts as well as selling driver details to parasitic car parking companies to issue imitation yet official looking car parking penalties with impunity to beleaguered motorists) immediately issued a recall of BMW drivers instead.
The residents of Bradford have been evacuated to Birmingham, and the 300,000 recalled BMW drivers will all be locked up in Bradford and forced to learn the Highway Code and retake their driving tests prior to being allowed home and to drive again.