Vice President Pence’s encounter with Kim Yo Jung remains on high alert

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 12 February 2018

image for Vice President Pence’s encounter with Kim Yo Jung remains on high alert
Mystery photo in Mr. Pence's pocket under intense scrutiny by the NSA

Mystery continues to surround Mr. Pence’s relationship with Ms. Kim (although Mrs. Pence objects to the term “relationship.”)

Analysts suggest the root of the problem lies in both parties being lodged at the same quarters, The Fourview Hotel in Pyongcheang, South Korea.

But according to State Department assessments, Mr. Pence is not to be faulted in his avoidance behavior.

He snubbed a dinner, refused to stand with other dignitaries in opening ceremonies, plus ignored Ms. Kim Yo Jung, seated right behind him in the stadium.

He also took strict precautions at The Fourview Hotel itself.

Since he and his wife were lodged on the same floor with Ms. Kim, he regularly eyed the corridor through a crack in the door before they departed their room.

He sought intelligence on times Ms. Kim habituated the dining room and avoided close encounter there.

Then fate intervened. He stepped into an elevator in an unusual moment of slack attention.

He became aware of a “shadowy” figure at the rear with its head bowed.

The elevator then malfunctioned and the occupants were stuck for at least an hour.

The CIA’s Mr. Pompeo suggests this breakdown could be foul play arranged by the North.

Management piped in apology and message that a free kimche and barbecue dinner would be offered for the inconvenience.

The globe is now fascinated the second figure in the elevator was Ms. Kim, and that the two proceeded into the first US-North Korea dialogue in many years.

Mr. Pence recalled “substantial” discussion on many subjects, including Ms. Kim’s request that denuclearization must be mutual.

“Show us yours and I will show you mine,” he reports she said, which has led to some confusion.

Mr. Pence was also uncomfortable when Ms. Kim spoke Korean to him: Wae deo isang ujeong-i aninga?.

She was smiling—which he thinks could have nasty implications.

However, President Moon--with clearance from the CIA--has stepped forward to explain this phrasing as: "Why not more friendship?"

Then Mr. Pence's confusion intensified when he found a mysterious photograph in his pocket right after this encounter.

Words on this image are suspected to bear some kind of ultimatum, currently under study.

Somewhat red-faced versus frosty, he has said the only explanation is Ms. Kim secreted this photograph on his person while they were in the elevator.

Mrs. Pence asked: “How close was she?”

Right away General Mattis has proclaimed Ms. Kim’s “honey-trap” provocation redoubles the need for “the bloody nose program” against North Korea.


The photograph has turned out to be the reverse cover of a menu for drinks at The Fourview Hotel Saloon.

According to South Korean intelligence officials in Fourview Hotel hallways, Mr. Pence enjoyed visiting this bar late in the evening, after his wife fell asleep.

Korean Intelligence has clarified the Korean message under the photo: "After the Games come play with us at The Rooftop Salon!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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