Written by Jaggedone

Saturday, 13 January 2018

image for Parisian jewelry thieves caught by Inspector Closeau and his pissed Pink Panther!
Parisian jewelry slipped out of thieves hands into the "Sellers!"

A bungled attempt to lift £3.5 million pounds worth of jewelry from the Ritz Hotel in Paris has been folied by the one and only, Inspector Closeau, and his piss-artist assistant, The Pink Panther!

Thieves smashed open glass cabinets with sledge hammers in the hotel and attempted to rush for the exit with the booty. Luckily, Closeau, was in the foyer at the time reading his favorite magazine, Le Parisien, and the Pink Panther was tied on a long leash to the bar!

In a brilliant flash, Closeau, opened up his smudgy raincoat, tossed a slippery croissant across the Egyptian marbled floor, and then tugged at the leash holding Pink Panther, just as he was about to down yet another Pink champagne on ice (No, this is not the Hotel California). The leash tightened, then the thugs tripped and slipped on the buttered croissant, slid arse over tits along the ice-cold marbled floor, crashed into a fake statue of Michelangelo's, David. His naked penis withstood the crash as the thieves then thumped into a huge fountain that stood between them and freedom.

During their slide, the jewels slipped out of their grubby hands, along with the sledge hammers. Inspector Closeau picked them up, and returned them to their rightful owner, the sledge hammers that is, and the Pissed Pink Panther did the rest..

Astonished Parisian Gendarmerie stormed into the hotel hoping to capture the thugs, recover the jewels, and become local heroes, but Closeau, and his dastardly pink pissed partner, had already left the building via the Sellers (is that normally spelt with a C?).

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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