Pynongyang, North Korea North Korean DIC-tator Kim Jong-Un was in the news again today when North Korea announced that it would not stand for any insults waged against their most revered and holy leader, Kim Jong-Un, Keeper of the Flame-Gun, Ruler of the Labor Camps, and Keeper of the Kitchen. The communication promised nuclear retaliation against any country that insulted the Great Leader, along with three neighboring countries, all of which would suffer North Korea's wrath.
The announcement was no doubt prompted by reports that Kim Jong-Un has become so massive and huge that he is affecting gravity and causing the tides on Earth to change.
Authorities were first alerted to the cause when it was pointed out by construction equipment manufacturers that they were getting many requests from North Korea for heavy-duty lifting and moving machines to be used for lifting Kim Jong-Un from palace to palace.
