Trump's Intelligence Briefings On 4th Grade Level

Written by Keith Shirey

Tuesday, 13 December 2016

image for Trump's Intelligence Briefings On 4th Grade Level

The daily briefing from the intelligence agencies presupposes an understanding of foreign policy concepts, diplomacy, the intricacies of national intelligence and the protection of the United States against terrorist attacks that a President would understand after a few years in office. As a matter of course, the briefing would be made less complex for an incoming Pesidet.

When Donald Trump, a man ignorant of these matters, tried to read the daily briefing he couldn't understand it. He gave up after about 12 secomnds. Mike Pence, who has had some experience in government, was given the reports to read by Mr. Trump.

Tony Schwartz, who actually wrote "The Art of The Deal" that helped make Trump famous, has revealed that Trump has about a 3-minute attention span. "It's impossible to keep him focused on any topic, other than his own self-aggrandizement, for more than a few minutes. I can't imagine him being able to pay attention to a national crisis in the situation room when he was being briefed."

Schwartz is hardly alone in this kind of observation. "He can't seem to concentrate on anything but how his hair looks," his wife Melania reportedly said.

Taking this into account, the Daily Intelligence Report has been dumbed down to a 4th grade level in hopes that Trump will read at least part of it every day.

During the campaign, Trump spoke to rallies using 3rd and 4th grade words, concepts and almost completely avoided abstract concepts. It is feared that, although he graduated from an Ivy League college, now years later, that is actually his level of understanding.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more