Fort Lee, N.J.: Yesterday, at noon, Governor Chris Christie jumped off the George Washington Bridge. He survived. He was found three miles down the Hudson River floating on his back, noticeably shaken, on top of an inner tube which is believed to have been in the river below. The inner tube likely saved his life.
For Christie it all began and almost ended with the George Washington Bridge. Christie began with a splash as a bully of a prosecutor who targeted only politicians outside his party, noting once, "I've never met a Democrat that I didn't want to prosecute."
His shined as a "take no prisoner" New Jersey governor. Many thought of him as a bully even as his state pushed anti-bullying campaigns in the schools.
But Christie's fall was inevitable. After staff members were caught in a scheme to delay traffic over the George Washington Bridge to embarrass the local Democratic mayor, Christie's approval numbers declined sharply. Christie denied any involvement with the bridge scandal but refused to turn over his cell phone which could implicate him.
Eventually Christie reported that the phone was lost.
As Christie ran for President, the GW Bridge issue plagued him. His approval numbers sank into the teens and he was forced out of the race, quickly supporting his "friend", Donald Trump.
The decline continued as Christie was ridiculed for his emotionless stare while standing behind Trump during Trump's major primary victory speech. Then, as if to return the favor, Trump told Christie to "get on a plane and go home," and later, to "stay away from Oreos." The tables had turned and now the bully was being bullied.
Christie could take no more.
"I saw a man in a fat suit jumping off the bridge, his arms were flailing over his head and he had this high pitched girlie scream, the whole way down. And then a huge splash! And I was like, isn't that Chris Christie?" said one male observer.
Christie immediately grabbed his cell phone and called for help from the water.
Transcripts of the 911 call were released. In the 911 call Christie admitted he was trying to toss his cell phone over the bridge when he lost his balance and fell into the waters below. Other observers believe it appeared to be a suicide attempt.
Christie insisted that the 911 transcript is "flat out wrong" and that the Clinton campaign "influenced" the content. The cell phone is now in the hands of authorities and the FBI is investigating.
Christie's wife, Mary Pat, rolled her eyes when she heard the news, stating, "Chris desperately needs attention sometimes." When asked about the cell phone, she denied knowing its whereabouts.
Christie's office released the following official statement:
"At around noon today Christie happened to be on his bicycle exercising over the George Washington Bridge when he spotted his cell phone far below in the Hudson River. In a heroic moment, knowing that the cell phone will finally vindicate him, and to preserve key evidence, Christie decided to grab his bicycle's inner tube and jump off the bridge to get possession of the phone. Christie was successful. It was all over in a matter of seconds and a very fatigued but heroic Governor Christie has resumed his duties."
The FBI reported some early findings on the water damaged phone. Findings include photographs of Trump and Christie, both bare-chested, wearing only blue jeans, and riding horses together. In one picture they are holding hands and Vladimir Putin can be seen in the background looking over in utter disgust.
Investigators are determining whether the pictures have been photoshopped by the Clinton campaign.