Vladimir Putin, showing off his tailored six-pack whilst riding bare-back on a white stallion through the annexed part of Ukraine, has joined the rest of the world by condemning both Russian and English hooligans causing riots in Marseille; and now they move to Lens, that'll be fun!
Putin, on a short vacation whilst provoking even more Ukrainian anger told his Russian compatriots, "If you continue to bash the Brits, you will all receive the Russian equivalent of the Victoria Cross because only brave Russians are stupid enough to confront English morons! And although I condemn you, anything is better than Ukrainian hooligans doing the same!"
He also offered English hooligans a free holiday in a Siberian Gulag paid for by the Ukrainian government, and if they refuse to surrender to the Russians, they can join his Russian army bashing Ukrainians in a real war, a test of real manhood!
UEFA are contemplating bowing to Putin's demands (who can refuse?) by kicking both Russia and England out of the Euros allowing German, Northern Irish and Ukrainian hooligans to step up the challenge and take over from English and Russian! It promises to be an interesting challenge, and if it comes down to a penalty shoot out German hooligans will obviously win because their "Jackboot" history is always an advantage and their refusal to accept defeat until the Fat Goering sings Lili Marlene!
Oh, by the way is their a football tournament being played???
