Sex education in schools to have practical side

Funny story written by Whistleblower

Tuesday, 26 January 2016


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In the new national school curriculum unveiled yesterday by the Minister for Education, Mr. Ben Down, a major change in sex education is to take place in Australian schools. The Minister said that practical work would be introduced into the teaching of the subject at schools across the nation.

Professional sex workers will be employed as teachers' aides to provide demonstrations and to assist teachers in assessing the results of practical exercises undertaken by the students.

In a statement read to the media this morning, the General Under Secretary of the Sexworkers' Congress said "All our members are trembling with excitement in anticipation and are looking forward to taking part in this exciting new teaching project. They will do all they can to make it an outstanding success and will extend themselves to provide the best in practical demonstrations for the students. They will put their utmost effort into their work."

She went on to say that there would no doubt be opposition to the new style of lessons from some narrow-minded people but that all the members were standing firm in their commitment.

She added. "They will not be lying down on the job -- except when necessary."

The Minister said that university studies have shown that students learn best when there is practical work involved and the more practical work they do the better they learn. The students are also to have practical exercises for homework.

The Minister announced that practical exercises to complete as homework were an important part of learning under the new curriculum. He said "I hope that the students in the new style sex education classes will practice what they have learnt, whenever they can, wherever they can. The more practice they get the better!"

A group of students in a sex education class at Mt. Taylor High School, Canberra, said that they are "looking forward to the new lesson format" and think that the new practical work "will make the subject much more exciting". Their teacher, Miss Betty Muffet, declined to comment but said that she will be leaving the practical work to the professionals.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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