A two year investigation into the integrity of Australian Federal politicians identified one non-dodgy member of parliament. Headed up by Professor Wayne Brown-Cardigan, the Parliamentary Investigation analysed the behaviours of all 226 politicians in the upper and lower houses. This identified 206 who have been rorting their expenses, 15 who have been sleeping with their secretaries and another 4 who have been trying to sleep with their secretaries.
The name of the single honest politician has been suppressed in the national interest. Prime Minister Malcom Bullshite declined an interview with The Spoof. His press secretary Brenda Trewth explained that Mr Bullshite was currently on an all expenses paid study of the wine cellars of France and would make a statement on his return in two months.
On releasing his report Brown-Cardigan stated that the results were a surprise. "Strewth mate, we didn't expect to find any non-dodgy parliamentarians. This has come as a shock to the committee and the whole of the Australian population.". The report's findings have failed to appear on any newspaper front page, falling behind headlines dealing with accidents involving sheep and the cricket test against the West Indies.