Written by Vlad D.M. Paylaw

Sunday, 10 January 2016

image for North Korea to Accept Ten Million Syrian Refugees
Bring us your non-mutated!

"Well, fuck!" said North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, "It's not like anyone else wants to come here. Yes, the double meaning --I said 'come'-- is intentional: After a typical eighty-hour work week, while subsisting on 1200 calories a day, the average citizen of our glorious republic is too bushed to make babies."

"That's right," continued the Dear Leader, "even upstanding Party members find themselves to be too tired and malnourished to have upstanding members, which kind of kills the party."

"Plus, any couples who do manage to conceive within a hundred kilometers of any of our glorious nuclear facilities are finding that their babies are horribly mutated. And none of these mutants so far has turned out to be a model factory worker or super soldier, which totally bums me out!"

"Anyone who wants to settle here will not be turned away!" (Automatically translated by BING!)

In related news, the Syrian government and all rebel factions in that country have unanimously agreed not to accept any refugees from North Korea, no matter how desperate they are to better their lot.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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