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Worried about Syrian Refugees? Launch Them Into the Sun

A recently conducted Gilmour poll showed that an overwhelming 69% of Americans are concerned about the Syrian refugee crisis affecting the United States. In response, scientists have proposed a solution to launch refugees into the sun. For a small...

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Trump's VP Choice Defends Trump Jr.'s Skittle Remark

Funny story: Trump's VP Choice Defends Trump Jr.'s Skittle Remark

Donald Trump Jr. is facing intense backlash on social media after he posted a message on Twitter Monday night that compared Syrian refugees to a bowl of Skittles sprinkled with a few that "would kill you." "This image says it all. Let's end the po...

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North Korea to Accept Ten Million Syrian Refugees

Funny story: North Korea to Accept Ten Million Syrian Refugees

"Well, fuck!" said North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, "It's not like anyone else wants to come here. Yes, the double meaning --I said 'come'-- is intentional: After a typical eighty-hour work week, while subsisting on 1200 calories a day, the averag...

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Merkel wins Time "Person of the year" - Scheisse!

Funny story: Merkel wins Time "Person of the year" - Scheisse!

Angie Merkel, German Chancellor, has been voted Time Magazine's person of the year and most normal people (are there any left?) are asking themselves, "what the F++K!" Let's have a quick look at Angie's great year: A) She held firm in the Greek...

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U.S. to Screen Syrian Refugees According to Bra Size

Funny story: U.S. to Screen Syrian Refugees According to Bra Size

A Senate committee on the Syrian refugee crisis held a press conference in Twin Peaks, California this morning to discuss their recommendations on U.S. policy towards granting asylum to Syrian refugees. "We can't let any of the men into the countr...

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Tapped Phone Conversation Between Putin and Assad Proves Revealing.

Funny story: Tapped Phone Conversation Between Putin and Assad Proves Revealing.

The famous expose website Wakileaks (yes, that is spelled correctly) has successfully tapped into a most intriguing phone call between those two most beloved of dictators in the world- Bashar al-Assad and his Grace Vladimir Putin of Russia. We have the transcript here just as it was translated from the phone tap: RINGGGGGGG!!!!! Putin: Hello my old buddy Bashar! How are you doing? Assad:...

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Australian Prime Minister raises refugee intake to 20 million

Aussie Prime Minister Tony Abbott has relaxed Australia's refugee migration rules and has agreed to take in up to 20 million refugees this year. Mr Abbott made the announcement at the Australian Hitler Youth Convention in Sydney this afternoon. "...

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Greece turns economy around by exporting value-add refugees

In an unprecedented feat of economic management the Greek government has amassed a massive national mattress treasure chest in just 3 months and is considering buying parts of Germany with the surplus. Greek Finance Minister Lonus Badetus explaine...

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EU to Launch Social Network for Refugees

The European Union is set to launch a social network for refugees fleeing to Europe from Syria, to help migrants communicate with the country in which they wish to reside. Daily vast numbers of refugees cross European borders in the hope that a be...

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Breaking news…

Emmanuel Macron Doesn’t Speak Trumpish

Anyone notice, French President Emmanuel Macron speaks better English than Donald Trump? And no superlatives necessary...Sad!
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