Ram Singh Tharki, a resident of Gurgaon, had no idea what was in store for him when he set out for his usual haunt, Kakke Da Dhaba, and ordered a plate of extra spicy chow mein.
On consuming a spoonful of the chow mein, Tharki had an irresistible urge to defile every human of female persuasion, in a 10-mile radius. Eyewitnesses from the restaurant claim that Tharki proceeded to grope the waitress serving him, in full public view.
Tharki has since been shifted to a private, all-male ward in Gurgaon's eminent mental-health home, Neurological Union for Transpiring Sanity, N.U.T.S.
The doctors at N.U.T.S say that the patient is responding well to treatment.
Eminent psychiatrist, Dr. Raghu Paglawala, very kindly explained the complicated treatment process to our reporters: ''The patient is being made to listen to the word 'Bhaiya' thrice a day, in conjunction with a steady dose of bolynitrate neon (BONE-NO) pills, to suppress his animalistic urges. His condition is now stable.''
Here's what Ram Singh Tharki himself has to say about the incident, ''This regrettable incident has made me swear off chowmein, or indeed, any food that starts with 'ch', entirely. I have come to the conclusion that eating chow mein causes rape and an uncontrollable urge to spew anti-feminist, dumbass remarks.''
All India Sanskaaris have filed a PIL calling for the immediate shutdown of all restaurants, stalls and dhabas that serve chow mein. Baba Ramdev has lambasted chowmein in an interview to the media, saying that an food that begins with 'ch' has got to be bad for us, considering most Indian expletives begin with 'ch'. ''Sound logic, that.'', is what Sri Ram Sena has to say about those pearls of wisdom.
They have since, called for a ban on chicken, chips, chilli cheese toast and chopsuey in Maharashtra. On being asked why they did not also ban chikki, cholle and chutney, the Ram Sena spokesperson muttered something about 'Indian culture' and 'sanskar', and sidled away.
