The Manager of a Motorway Services Station near Scunthorpe has banned the "Weirdo Club Of Great Britain" annual outing from entering the premises this year after complaints from "normal" customers last year that the club members were not weird enough.
Mr. Arthur Arbuthnot-Forte told our travel reporter, "We had a large crowd of punters last year who had travelled across Europe anticipating really off beat behaviour from the nutters, but what we got was bog standard bachelor night behaviour with mooning and coloured wigs. I know the government has cut back funding to train apprentice weirdos to drool and speak incoherently, but I don't think they (the weirdos) are putting in the required effort.
"There were some 12 ordinary people on the bus and over 200 more in the Service Station and garage. None of the weirdos approached the ordinary customers to warn them of the other weirdos last year, or sat next to women tavelling alone, which is usually a popular feature of the visit".
Everyone seemed to have an agenda of simply getting to the Isle of Wight and quietly reading Kindles or paperbacks. The ordinary passengers had to bother the weirdos, which was well, weird.